Time for my annual (more like monthly it seems like these days) honesty hour chat with y’all!
I wanted to talk today a little bit about dating. Which is such a happy thing! However, for those of you that have been in long-term relationships, especially, you know that it can also unearth some things within you that you don’t particularly like, or that surprise you about yourself, and that is moreso where I want to have our chat today. I have learned so much more about myself, about love, and about God than I ever thought possible in the last few years of dating my sweet boy.
To start things off, I feel like I should mention that I was never really a “dater” back in the day. I didn’t have my first boyfriend until the summer before my Junior year of college; so the things that I have to say here aren’t based off of a human that has dated a ton…or really much at all…but instead, one who just has learned a lot with my most recent relationship and those are the few things that I wish to share with all you lovely humans today.
So, what have I learned??
- We all need His grace. I grew up wishing to be a perfect human that had no issues and didn’t need anything from anyone; I often lived my life this way, even though deep down I knew I was a mess…but from the outside I looked pretty and at that point that was all I cared about. At the core of it, I thought that if I lived my life “perfectly” then I didn’t need grace. Grace was for messy people who struggled. Not girls like me who, from the outside, were living well and doing good and appeared to not have any issues at all. I set myself up to be living an extremely unrealistic life and that facade of perfection quickly faded. And BOOOOY was I wrong, we all need grace, every single day. And sure, I’ve had plenty of mess-ups within the context of Curtis & I’s dating relationship that I have come to realize my need for grace more than ever. But with that, I have also begun to recognize my innate need for it, outside of just a dating relationship, and instead, in everything.
- He really does give us the desires of our hearts. I never really knew what I wanted I don’t think (not sure I even do now tbh). But God always does. And instead of the fireworks and explosions that I thought I was supposed to feel with love, I was instead given someone with kindness, and patience, and encouragement, and a gentle strength. And to me now, looking at that as a gift, after over two years of dating, the fireworks have NOTHING on the peace and consistency that comes from being loved well by someone that God created to love you.
- God put boundaries in place to help us thrive, not to simply survive. I think this one speaks for itself, so I’m just going to leave it at that.
- Unconditional love. So stereotypical of me, I know. But this is so beyond true. God loves us so so so well and we really can only glimpse a small portion of that love through our relationships with others but BOY when you’re loved by someone who continuously chooses to love you even after finding out all of your junk and whom you let down almost daily, how can you not think about the fact that God loves us that way and. then. some. WHAT?!
- A good man is more interested in your heart (not how much makeup you have on…or if you’re throwing up all of your insides…or what your pant size is…or if you have the cold of all colds; that isn’t what’s important) to him or to Him. Your heart is what matters.
- Our choices are no longer just ours. For me, I always have to ask myself, is what I am choosing to do glorifying God? The importance in this is to not bring attention to ourselves and instead to let Him shine through our words and our actions. I am a representative of Christ and it’s important that my choices reflect that! And with Curtis, the things I choose to say/do/etc. impact him, a lot. It’s been a lesson in realizing that doing life with someone in such close contact is so fun…but you must be aware and conscious of what you choose to surround yourself with and even think about, to ensure you’re feeding your relationships in a healthy, and not harmful, way.
- Something to hope for in my future. 🙂 And finally, I have grown to be much more excited for what is to come in my relationship with my boy as we have learned and loved over the past couple years. In a similar sense, I feel as though that relationship has only increased my excitement to one day meet my sweet Jesus. There is so much to hope for and look forward to, sweet friends! ❤
For those of you in long-term relationships, do any of these lessons resonate with you?
For those of you that may be in a season of singleness or with a little more casual approach to dating, are these the kinds of lessons you’re looking for in your future relationships? If not, feel free to share a few things you’ve learned/hope to learn in your next relationship.
Or just feel free to share a little bit about what God’s been teaching y’all recently! 🙂