As we enter into this month that is all about loving on the people around us, be that your spouse, significant other, a friend, your neighbor down the block, or someone you don’t even know; I think being intentional about learning the way that we give love/receive love (and how those around us do, too!) we can greatly encourage a society that loves well.
Which I think is what we’re all hoping for in our angry world, anyway, is it not?
What I want to talk about today is surely not a new idea, this is one that’s steadily been gaining popularity over the last few years, with people like Steve Harvey getting behind the idea and sharing it with his fan base.
It’s this idea of love languages.
For those of you that haven’t ever heard of this before, that may seem like a weird term but it’s basically just a way of figuring out how each of us, individually, gives–and receives–love best. This was a term coined by the author, Gary Chapman. As someone who wrote often about marriage, he found that many people could benefit their marriage by learning not only their own love language but the love language of their spouse, in attempts to love them more individually and more fully.
But! The best part of all this is that this can be used in all other relationships, not just romantic ones (or just in marriage!). We can learn to love every single person we encounter well by using this idea.
According to Chapman’s book, there are 5 ways in which each of us loves/receives love best:
- Words of Affirmation – You receive love best when people affirm you with their words. Things like receiving a compliment or being told you did something well, sends your spirits soaring.
- Quality Time – When someone sits with you, with no distractions (this is key!), for an extended amount of time, you leave that encounter feeling so filled to the top with love.
- Receiving Gifts – Birthdays and Christmas are your favorite days! Any chance you get to feel celebrated with physical items is the key to make your world go ’round.
- Acts of Service – For you, actions speak way louder than words. When people go out of their way to do something for you, you feel the most loved.
- Physical Touch – Nothing makes you feel more meaningful to someone than experiencing an appropriate touch from them. Hugs, kisses, holding hands…these are the things that you so deeply admire.
I’ve taken this test a few times in the years I’ve known about it and it’s interesting how my final results haven’t really changed much. I’ve felt an influx in my Physical Touch recently but for the most part, Quality Time sits in the #1 spot and right up there with it is Words of Affirmation. Those haven’t changed since I first took the test a few years ago.
We all really do have a pretty steadfast way in which we experience love best.
How neat is that, that God created us each so individually even in that way??
Gah. So cool.
For anyone wondering, since I am a Quality Time gal, all around. Nothing is better for me than to sit down with someone for hours on end, just chatting about where we’re both at in life. For some people that sounds torturous haha but that really is the best way someone can love on me. So if any of you would like to meet for a cup of coffee and just shoot the breeze…rest assured knowing I will love the heck out of that time!
Is this topic interesting to you at all?
You can take the test to figure out your love language here!
And then comment below what you got!
I want to chat with you about it–I go to a whole new level of nerdy over stuff like this !!!